Dear Redneck Son,
I am writing this letter slow because I know you cannot read that fast. We don't live where we did when you left home, your father read in the newspaper that most accidents occur within 20 miles of your home, so we moved.

I won't be able to send you the address because the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers when they moved so that they wouldn't have to change their new address.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well, last week I put a load in and pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.

The weather here isn't bad. It only rained twice last week, once for three days and the second time for four days.

About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said that it would be too heavy to send in the the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them into the pockets.

John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him an hour to get me and your father out.

Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven' found out if your an aunt or an uncle. The baby looks just like your brother....

Uncle Ted fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off and playfully drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.

There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.

Love, mom

P.S. I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.








 

          






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