ACTUAL EXCERPTS FROM
LETTERS SENT TO LANDLORDS ...
"The toilet is blocked and we
can not bathe the children until it is cleared."
"I want some repairs done to my
stove as it has backfired and burnt my knob off."
"This is to let you know that there is a smell coming
from the man next door."
"The toilet seat is cracked: where do I stand?"
" I am writing on behalf of my
sink, which is running away from the wall."
"I request your permission to
remove my drawers in the kitchen."
"Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three
"The person next door has a large erection in his back
garden, which is unsightly and dangerous."
"Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk.
Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant."
"Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children
and would like a third, so will you please send someone to
do something about it."
"Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is
a funny color and not fit to drink."
"Would you please send a man to
repair my downspout. I am an old age pensioner and need it
"Could you please send someone
to fix our bath tap. My wife got her toe stuck in it and it
is very uncomfortable for us."
" I want to complain about the
farmer across the road. Every morning at 5:30 his cock wakes
me up, and it is getting too much"
"When the workmen were here they put their tools in my
wife's new drawers and made a mess.
Please send men with clean tools to finish the job and keep
my wife happy."
rights reserved "Simply Angel" 2003-2004